Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Breaking: Barry Bonds Took Drugs, The Sky Is Blue And I Am White



In 2006, Barry Bonds hit his 4,000th home run, winning every Major League record and ruining the rest of Hank Aaron's life. Now his blood and urine and tears have passed through enough Brita filters to show that Barry was, indeed, hopped up on some crazy shit: THG. Clomid. Mutagen.

In defense, his lawyers are planning a brilliant three-point strategy. First they will exclude all of that nasty "evidence" from the trial. Then Rod Blagojevich will stop by the courtroom to do his patented "Bullshit Tapdance Extravaganza." Then, in the confusion, Barry Bonds will be sneaked back to Dimension X to serve the evil Krang and Shredder.

WHY WON'T THE LIBERAL MEDIA COVER THIS? (Except April O'Neil)

NYT
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