Thursday, February 5, 2009
Lost is a show about polar bears, nosebleeds and people saying "brother." It is also the only drama on television that doesn't take place at a hospital or involve police solving murders. People love shows about death! It's great to be constantly reminded that one day you too will die, while pretty cops and doctors process your corpse and have love affairs.
Let's take a look at what happened on last night's LOST:
- Sun will babysit your kids and assassinate your enemies for $8/hour.
- The close-ups on Charlotte's face reveal her eyes to be a strange kind of blue. Could she be addicted to the Spice? The Spice extends life. The Spice expands consciousness. The Spice is vital to space travel.
- Jack be doctorin' and you ain't gonna stop him. YOU AIN'T. YOU CAN TRY, BITCH, BUT YOU AIN'T.
- Sawyer sees Past Kate delivering Past Claire's baby. I hope they George Lucas the original scene by adding Sawyer in the background, next to Hayden Christensen.
- Wouldn't it have been something if instead of those long, cool-looking canoes, there were paddle boats? I want to see Sawyer and Locke in a paddle boat.
- We get to see Claire's mom again. WILL WE NEVER SEE THE MOTHER OF ARZT?
- Jin's body is found by the French, and revived by their magical powers of smoking and existentialism.
- Young Rousseau holds the key to understanding Old Rousseau, who holds the key to nothing, because she is dead.
This is the best drama on television not about doctor-cop-supermodels.