- Scientists agree: Jet-skiing is more harmful to your reputation than beating women.- Obama nominates Abortiana B. Abortionsen to be America's new Queen of Abortion, for Abortions. ABORTION ABORTION ABORTION.
- The Dow Jones drops below 7,000, which is good news for me, because I have no idea what that means.
- John McCain thinks he's still running for President. (Humor him.)
- The Terminator Salvation trailer is online, you fucking prick. You amateur. We are done professionally.
- Rod Blagojevich to write book: Portrait of a Douchebag.
- Crooked I may have been shot, which is sad. Haven't we gotten to a point where all disputes can be settled through Wii Boxing?
- Nintendo announces Wii Breakfast, and it looks awesome.
- The Republican Party debates whether their leader should be 50-Year-Old Steve Urkel or a Giant Thumb.
- Dr. Seuss' birthday occurs. So celebrate by eating spoiled ham, jumping on your father and letting cats destroy your house.
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1 Response to "Things That Are Happening NOW - 3/2/2009"Wii fights would make the world a better place.
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