Monday, April 27, 2009

Breaking: Women Love Douchebags



The other day, I was waiting for the Red Line while reading The Amber Spyglass (WHAT UP, MULEFA!). Seated next to me were a young woman and a young man, who may have been dating, I don't know. The girl was on the phone, talking to a friend, hashing out a plan for their trip into the city. "We could meet you at the Planetarium. Do you know where that is? We might stop by the Museum too. Then we'll meet up with you to watch the Cavs. Is that okay?" Etc, etc. She was being so mild and sweet about it, you would think she was in PR - and she probably was. Meanwhile, the guy she was with sat staring into space, with a look on his face like the world owed him a thousand favors.

After working out the plan, the girl hangs up and turns to the guy.

GIRL: So, I think we'll stop by the Museum and then we'll meet up with everyone to watch the game. Does that sound alright?

GUY: No. That sounds like an awful idea.

GIRL: ...

GUY: Why would I want to watch the Cavs with people that dont like the Cavs? I'd rather not watch the game at all.

GIRL: ...

GUY: It's stupid. And now we don't have time to eat breakfast.

GIRL: I was thinking we could just get lunch. We're not in a rush.

GUY: Yes we are. We're in a rush to eat barfood at your friend's restaurant. (rolls eyes)

GIRL: ...you're mean.

GUY: No. Here's what we're doing - we're going to Millennium Park. You'll like that. It's by the museums.

GIRL: Okay.

GUY: And I know where the museums are. I know where the Planetarium is. I know where everything is.

GIRL: Okay.

The train pulls up. We all get on, and they don't say one word from Sheridan to Grand.

Something tells me those kids are going to make it!
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1 Response to "Breaking: Women Love Douchebags"
  1. Dave White said...
    July 5, 2009 at 8:16 PM

    Good lord, what's up with that guy in the photo? The borders of his spray tan are so perfectly regular it looks like he found another, tanner d-bag, skinned him alive, and is wearing his face as a mask.

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