Tuesday, April 14, 2009
- The Obamas show their dog to the White House Press Corps. He's cute, but not as cute as Abraham Lincoln's dog.
- Hey, look at me! I'm Lindsey Lohan! I'm making fun of myself! For partying! And being bisexual! Ha ha! Ha ha ha! PLEASE LIKE ME.
- Billy Bob Thornton's band cancels their Canadian tour, after coming down with a strange illness that turns celebrities into total douchebags. (WHAT UP, VIAL OF ANGELINA JOLIE'S BLOOD!)
- Oscar De La Hoya has retired from boxing...but not from feeling pretty.
- Norm Coleman will fight to have every vote counted, even if they already were. Former Senator, if you want to hold office again in Minnesota, become a wrestler.
- Bill O'Reilly doesn't like Eminem, or any rappers, or any black people, or any people, or anything, really. Except loofahs.
- I love this song. And the video. Slaughterhouse is like Wu-Tang, except they like each other.
- This makes me want to sell my Wii Fit. Also, the fact I haven't used it since December 2008.
- '70's porn star Marilyn Chambers is dead. Time to mourn...in my own way. (BY MASTURBATING.)