Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Things That Are Happening NOW - 6/10/2009

- Jay-Z has announced the Death of Autotune. Its memory will live on through EVERY SONG RECORDED IN THE PAST YEAR.

- The iPhone 3GS will feature 7.2 HSPA, 4zh mdk/g, 3.55656 j-pgkz and almost 4,1100/9,0045 ppi.

- The GOP is fat, and ugly and DOESN'T THINK IT WILL EVER GET MARRIED.

- Carrie Prejean has lost her fancy Miss California crown, which brings an abrupt end to cutting ribbons at state fairs. But don't be sad! She lost it for continued breach of contract issues, not for setting fire to Gays. So she can still set fire to Gays.

- That gay guy admitted he's gay. How gay of him.

- Shia LeBouf has admitted to watching his parents have sex - which is almost as embarassing as admitting to watching a movie starring Shia LeBouf.

- 50 Cent is releasing a cologne called "Power." It is of no relation to Bino White's cologne, "Sadness."

- Futurama is coming back from the dead, just like Family Guy did! MAYBE NEXT THEY'LL BRING BACK CAPTAIN PLANET. Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! Heart! BEWARE THE MIGHTY HEART.

- At E3, Nintendo revealed Super Mario Galaxy 2, New Super Mario Bros Wii and Metroid: Other M. But where are the Starfox and F-Zero sequels? There hasn't been one entry of either on Wii. FEED ME, NINTENDO. BABY HUNGRY.
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