Things That Are Happening NOW - 7/15/2009

- The Space Shuttle Endeavor has lifted off, and is well on its way to the International Space Station to build a Jamba Juice. THERE CAN NEVER BE TOO MANY.

- The Supreme Court Justice hearings for Sonia Sotomayor are just as eye-gougingly awful as you think they are. "Will you kill babies with nunchuks, racist?" "No. No, I won't." "Liar!"

- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince raked in over $22 million at Wednesday midnight showings, which means nerds everywhere are tired today. Hopefully they can stay awake for their busy schedule of not getting laid.

- Microsoft is going to open its own store like Apple's, except it will have viruses and randomly close several times a day. END TASK.

- Hip-hop legend Rakim will be releasing his long-awaited third solo album in the fall. He says it is "fueled by consciousness and spirituality," which means it will sell zero copies. GOTTA GET THAT BOOM BOOM BOOM.

- Complex compiled a history of The Game's beefs, and it is slightly longer than War & Peace.

- NORE says he's worked with a rapper that's secretly gay. It better not be Lil' Fisty!

- The Conduit for Wii looks pretty good, but if I buy it, I won't have money for food. Decisions, decisions.