Monday, August 3, 2009

Movies You Can See Instead Of Talking To Your Loved Ones - 8/3/2009


Funny People

What's funnier than a movie starring Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen? A movie about death. This movie combines the two, in an effort to make you laugh and cry, while your soul crumbles. Adam Sandler plays a dying stand-up comedian/movie star and Seth Rogen plays an aspiring stand-up comedian that is all too eager to be his assistant. Along the way, we meet The RZA, Andy Dick, Jonah Hill, Eminem, Norm MacDonald, Sarah Silverman, Ray Romano and whoever else showed up to the mass text message (want 2 b in fnny ppl?). This movie is great, but make sure you know what you're in for, fratboys. I love that Judd Apatow's wife and kids get bigger parts from movie to movie. His next film will be called My Wife And Kids Are Adorable, and we will line up to see it in droves.

Trailer
Rotten Tomatoes - 67%


The Ugly Truth

Katherine Heigl plays a "romantically challenged morning show producer." Because if anyone has a hard time dating, it's hot successful women. Thankfully, her character gets some advice by Gerard Butler, who plays a douchebag. In the trailer, this advice includes "eating a hot dog slowly." Yeah, girl. Put that pink mealy slab of miscellaneous animal meat in your mouth. Super hot! I'm pretty sure if I told a girl to do that, she'd slap me in the face. But I don't look like Gerard Butler. So, I guess the point of this movie is that if you look like Gerard Butler, you can get a girl like Katherine Heigl, despite douchebaggery. Maybe I'm being too negative. It's just, if we're going to do a "battle of the sexes" movie, let's make it a literal "battle of the sexes" movie, where men go to war with women. I'd see that film, because instead of meeting cute, Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigl would be shooting each other with flamethrowers. EVERYONE WINS.

Trailer
Rotten Tomatoes - 15%

Orphan

A man and woman lose their unborn child, and are too bummed out to ever bone again. Whatever will they do? Adopt a child, of course. But not just any child! An unctuous little girl named Esther, who looks like she's perpetually auditioning for the role of Wednesday Addams. Then strange things begin to happen - very strange, and probably bad, too! I can't tell what they are from this trailer, but they mostly involve screaming, fast cuts and sudden musical cues. Oh, she backs up her mother's car pretty quickly. If that doesn't strike horror into your heart, I'm not sure what will. (Maybe things that actually inspire horror?) Again, maybe I'm being too negative. It's just, this reminds me too much of The Good Son, and I love The Good Son. Macaualay Culkin's legacy must live on! Live on, I say! RENT THE PAGEMASTER, RICHIE RICH AND GETTING EVEN WITH DAD RIGHT NOW.

Trailer
Rotten Tomatoes - 46%

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