BinoWhite.com

New Reel

2010-01-16T10:59:00.000-08:00

It was time for an update. Maybe now I can get a late night talk show! If Conan goes to Fox, Leno takes back The Tonight Show and Letterman, Fallon, Ferguson and Carson Daly stay where they are....I can get a show at 4AM on The CW.

Anyway, you should hire me. We'll be friends forever.

You Just Good Online (ft. Da Kippa) (prod. by Miles Davis)

2009-12-17T07:36:00.000-08:00

>

That's some fine Photoshopping, ma'am.

Thanks to C.M. de la VEGA for his awesome directing and editing. Check out Miles Davis at http://www.myspace.com/milesdproductions

And Da Kippa at: www.myspace.com/dakippa.

Consider this video a Christmas present. Unless you are Jewish. THEN YOU GET NOTHING.

Alright, fine. You can consider this a Hanukkah present. And Kwanzaa present. And Voodoo Day present. Whatever. It's better than socks.

Damn, It Feels Good To Be White (ft. Da Kippa) (prod. by Miles Davis)

2009-12-09T23:58:00.001-08:00

We're so lame! (Apologies to Al Sharpton.)

Thanks to C.M. de la VEGA for his awesome directing and editing. Check out Miles Davis at http://www.myspace.com/milesdproductions

And Da Kippa at: www.myspace.com/dakippa and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FI5gBWcSZCk and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zclB1oj_IPA

And if you're one of the two people who checks this site, you might have noticed a lack of updates lately. This is because I moved to LA and have been working as a host on the CW/CBS show Smash Cuts. (It turns out people with Nightmare Faces can be in front of the camera.)

Anyway, over the past few months, I've collaborated with Smash Cuts Friends for Bino White Weeklies. But then I finished Bino White Weekly, and we finished shooting the first season of Smash Cuts. What to do now? Start painting? Write the Great American Novel? Kidnap children? Decisions, decisions.

Well, I'm going to put out some material I wasn't able to release during the past few months. Next Thursday, there will be another BRAND NEW MUSIC VIDEO featuring all the Smash Cuts Friends. And in 2010, stay tuned for sketches, music videos and maybe...TV shows.....

Bino White Weekly: The Mixtape (Part 2)

2009-11-11T00:09:00.000-08:00

27. Public Transportation
28. Self-Deprecating Song (ft. AC Unit)
29. Party Crasher
30. Lower Your Standards
31. Straight Outta Fosston
32. Michigan vs. Minnesota (ft. Prince Delight)
33. I'm in Hollywood
34. Get To Know Me
35. Kill You With Fiction
36. Optimist vs. Pessimist (ft. Sticky Wicket)
37. Rap Song Fail
38. Too Soon (Death of Death of Autotune Freestyles)
39. World Wide Web
40. It's All Good (ft. HoodE)
41. Do You Like Me? (Yes, No or Maybe)
42. Let's Bone
43. Craigslist Sex Meet-Up
44. Too Soon Part 2
45. Rap Superheroes (ft. Da Kippa)
46. Shoutouts (ft. Optimus Crime)
47. Lords of the Rings (ft. Jerhymasaurus)
48. Run This Universe (ft. P.Genz)
49. Watch Smash Cuts (ft. Julian Smith)
50. Throw It In My Mouth (ft. Da Kalorie Kounta)
51. Hot Mess (ft. Donnivin Jordan)
52. You Wanna Stay
53. Sorry, Crooked I
54. The End
(Bonus) Nerdcore
(Bonus) I'm So Underrated

Well, this is it. I wrote, recorded and mixed a rap song a week for 54 weeks in a row, and edited a video to accompany each one. Maybe my reward is yet to come? In the form of a record deal? Or a hug? Because my preference would be the record deal. DON'T TOUCH ME.

I'm not done rapping, but I am done making weekly raps. What am I going to do with my free time, you ask? Have a social life. JUST KIDDING. I'm going to do Other Things, and maybe those Other Things will be successful. Stay tuned.

Download Bino White Weekly: The Mixtape (Part 2)

(PREVIOUSLY) Bino White Weekly: The Mixtape (Part 1)

Download both Part 1 and Part 2

Week 54: The End

2009-10-30T09:41:00.000-07:00

For the week of 10/25/2009 - 10/31/2009:

Download mp3 with UserShare
Bino White @ MySpace
Bino White @ URSession
Bino White @ Facebook

All mildly amusing things must come to an end. Rest in peace, Bino White Weekly. HERE'S YOUR CLOSURE.

Other Bino White Weeklies

Week 53: Sorry, Crooked I

2009-10-24T11:28:00.000-07:00

For the week of 10/18/2009 - 10/24/2009:

Download mp3 with UserShare
Bino White @ MySpace
Bino White @ URSession
Bino White @ Facebook

I broke Crooked I's record for weekly raps. NOW HE HAS NOTHING! Except a rap career. Which I don't have. Oh well.

Note: I'm just joking around in this song. I'm a fan of Crooked I & Slaughterhouse.

Next week is the last week, my two fans! Now I am finally free to pretend I have a social life.

Other Bino White Weeklies

Week 52: You Wanna Stay

2009-10-16T13:33:00.000-07:00

For the week of 10/11/2009 - 10/17/2009:

Download mp3 with UserShare
Bino White @ MySpace
Bino White @ URSession
Bino White @ Facebook

What do you after you record a rap song every week for a year? You party. You f***ing party.

I have now officially tied Crooked I's weekly rap record, and unless he shoots me, I will break his record next week.

After that, there will be just one more song (Week 54), to give my two fans some closure. I CARE ABOUT YOU VERY MUCH.

Now, let's party.

Other Bino White Weeklies

Week 51: Hot Mess (ft. Donnivin Jordan) (Produced by Miles Davis)

2009-10-10T13:52:00.001-07:00

For the week of 10/4/2009 - 10/10/2009:

Download mp3 with UserShare
Bino White @ MySpace
Bino White @ URSession
Bino White @ Facebook

That's what you are, girl. Sorry.

Donnivin Jordan is a comedian/actor/Black Man, who has appeared on Hell Date, Next and every stand-up comedy stage in LA. He is also one of the other cast members/hosts of Smash Cuts, your new favorite show.

And no, the zombie of Miles Davis did not make the beat. This is a different Miles Davis, who is a hip-hop producer and an audio mixer for several shows (including Smash Cuts!) His work was featured on Beef: The Series, and he was the headline producer for The Source Unsigned Hype Tour. (One day, I hope to be signed hype.)

My two fans may know that I am ending Bino White Weekly on Week 54, which means there are only three songs left. And Donnivin Jordan is the last guest appearance. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU GOT UNTIL IT'S GONE.

Check out Donnivin Jordan at http://www.facebook.com/donnivin and Miles Davis at http://www.myspace.com/milesdproductions

Collaborations with previous Smash Cuts friends:

Throw It In My Mouth (ft. Da Kalorie Kounta)

Watch Smash Cuts (ft. Julian Smith)

Shoutouts (ft. Optimus Crime)

Rap Superheroes (ft. Da Kippa)

Other Bino White Weeklies

Things That Are Happening NOW - 10/8/2009

2009-10-08T17:32:00.000-07:00

- The New York Daily News says David Letterman has a "secret bedroom" above the Ed Sullivan theater. Hey New York Daily News, why don't you report about the "secret bedroom" above the basement at Smash Cuts? We use it for sex every Sunday - the cast, the crew, random street people. It's an orgy of pain and delight (but mostly pain).

- Barack Obama is going to pass universal health care through magical slam dunks.

- Anti-gay violence will now be labeled a "hate crime," instead of "what Republicans do for fun."

- We're finally declaring war on the moon. So suck it, moon! The sun and the stars are the best. You're just a fake-ass planet, anyway. Go run somewhere and be gay with Pluto. (I may have just committed a hate crime.)

- N.E.R.D. has added a female member to their group. Her name is "Not Fergie."

- Shyne may be released from prison after ten years. That seems like a long time, but keep in mind, impersonating Biggie is a felony.

- Method Man has been busted for tax evasion. But he has yet to be busted for sewing your asshole closed and just feeding you, and feeding you, and feeding you...

Other Things

Week 50: Throw It In My Mouth (ft. Da Kalorie Kounta)

2009-10-03T16:04:00.000-07:00

For the week of 9/27/2009 - 10/3/2009:

Download mp3 with UserShare
Bino White @ MySpace
Bino White @ URSession
Bino White @ Facebook

I don't care what it is. BUT SHE DOES.

Da Kalorie Kounta is Angie Greenup, a comedian/female. She has hosted things for TV Guide, Fearnet and Break.com, as well as appeared in Surviving Disaster, Dress My Nest and your wildest fantasies. She is also one of the other cast members/hosts of Smash Cuts, your new favorite show. Why aren't you watching it now? IT'S THE ONLY TIME YOU'RE HAPPY.

Check out more of Angie Greenup at http://www.AngieGreenup.com.

Collaborations with previous Smash Cuts friends:

Watch Smash Cuts (ft. Julian Smith)

Shoutouts (ft. Optimus Crime)

Rap Superheroes (ft. Da Kippa)

Other Bino White Weeklies

Special Delivery: I'm So Underrated

2009-10-01T01:12:00.000-07:00

Download mp3 with UserShare
Bino White @ MySpace
Bino White @ URSession
Bino White @ Facebook

You know this to be true.

And that's right! This isn't a "Bino White Weekly." About every ten weeks since Week 1, I've recorded an extra song. (Mostly because I have no life.)

Here are the other extra songs:

Drink Alone (In Your Home)
In My Life (ft. Bru Lei & Jen Eveve)
Welcome to the U of C (2009)
Nerdcore

Other Bino White Weeklies

Things That Are Happening NOW - 9/29/2009

2009-09-29T10:28:00.000-07:00

- Jon is leaving Jon & Kate Plus 8, so now it will just be called Kate Plus 8. I have never been tempted to watch this show. Let me know when it's A Minotaur Plus 8.

- Sarah Palin is going to be a best-selling author, God help us. Have you ever read a book where every sentence ends in "also"? Get ready. I'm going to wait for the audiobook, by Christopher Walken.

- Britney Spears has released a new single called "3." It either stands for the number of people in a menage a trois, or how old Britney was the last time she was happy.

- New SNL cast member Jenny Slate accidentally said "fuck" on the air. Meanwhile, ex-SNL cast member Ellen Cleghorne says "fuck" every day, because of her life.

- Rap group Slaughterhouse might be signing to Shady Records, which is great news. Royce da 5'9" and Eminem might be friends again! Keep an eye out for friendship bracelets.

- Saigon has released a song called Shoutouts, nearly a month about Bino White and Optimus Crime released a song called Shoutouts. Hey Saigon, STOP RIPPING US OFF. Or we'll be forced to rip you off, and get Turtle to manage us on Entourage.

Other Things

Week 49: Watch Smash Cuts (ft. Julian Smith)

2009-09-24T17:05:00.000-07:00

For the week of 9/20/2009 - 9/26/2009:

Download mp3 with UserShare
Bino White @ MySpace
Bino White @ URSession
Bino White @ Facebook

Because if you don't, you won't be cool. (Disclaimer: This video does not necessarily represent the views of CBS, The CW, Renegade 83, Smash Cuts, or any rational human being.)

Julian Smith guest-appears, guest-directs and guest-edits. You may recognize him from his many Interweb hits, such as 25 Things I Hate About Facebook. Right now we are both cast members on the CBS/CW show Smash Cuts, which premieres this Sunday, September 27th. Finally, my dozens of fans will mingle with Julian's millions! (It will be gloriously awkward, like a high school dance.)

To see Julian's other work, visit http://www.youtube.com/juliansmith87 or http://www.juliansmith.tv

Collaborations with previous Smash Cuts friends:

Shoutouts (ft. Optimus Crime)

Rap Superheroes (ft. Da Kippa)

Other Bino White Weeklies

Drake, Kanye, Little Wayne & Eminem To Be Friends Forever

2009-09-24T16:06:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess this is a pretty good rap supergroup. But the best group ever would be Steve Roll'n from Tag Team, Mack Daddy from Kriss Kross, Yella from N.W.A., and Magoo from Timbaland & Magoo.

Speaking of rap groups, did you catch Slaughterhouse standing behind Eminem? I'm pretty sure I saw Joe Budden giggle and Joell Ortiz look hungry. Either this is a sign that Slaughterhouse is signing to Shady Records, or that Slaughterhouse and Eminem just had a fun sleepover. (They spent all night playing "light as a feather, stiff as a board.")

As for Drake's "Forever" music video, it's cool. But it's no Degrassi.

P.S. I write "Little Wayne," because I can't bring myself to abbreviate "little." It makes my soul weep.

Week 48: Run This Universe (ft. P.Genz)

2009-09-18T21:35:00.000-07:00

For the week of 9/13/2009 - 9/18/2009:

Download mp3 with UserShare
Bino White @ MySpace
Bino White @ URSession
Bino White @ Facebook

We're too big for towns.

Check out P.Genz at www.myspace.com/pgenz. He's a talented young rapper with an album better than most major label releases: It's called Souluxe, and is available on Amazon and .

And if you'd like to check out my album, look in your local garbage bin. There's sure to be a copy, stained with tears of laughter.

Other Bino White Weeklies

Beyonce Knowles vs. Taylor Swift: The Battle For Kanye West's Heart

2009-09-13T21:49:00.000-07:00

Earlier tonight, MTV held their Video Music Awards, which are very prestigious. (No one knows music better than the people behind The Hills and Room Raiders.) And every year, something "crazy" happens, like Britney Spears making out with a snake. Then the next day, everyone talks about it. "Can you believe Britney Spears made out with a snake!" "That girl is crazy!" "Sure is!" "Ha, ha!" "OUR LIVES ARE SO EMPTY."

Anyway, this year was no disappointment, as Tight Pants Enthusiast Kanye West stormed the stage. It was kind like of when Ol' Dirty Bastard stormed the stage at the 1997 Grammy's, except not as funny. You see, Taylor Swift won the award for Best Whatever, and that did not sit well with Kanye. He thought Beyonce should have won, because she is the Norse God of Gyration. So of course he runs on stage, takes the mic away from Taylor Swift, and says Beyonce made one of the best videos ever. This should all give Kanye something to rap about on his next album, Designer Labels And Why I'm Great.

But this got me thinking - what are these videos everyone is so upset about? Let's take a look.

Beyonce - Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)

So...we're supposed to propose to girls as soon as we meet them? And aren't rings like super expensive? You should probably date a girl for a while before buying them things that represent a life commitment. And what if you liked it, but didn't want to put a ring on it? Maybe you liked it, but just wanted to kiss it and run away. And who is "it," anyway? Cthulhu? I'm so confused.

But the video is awesome! I think it's in black and white because if it were in color, we wouldn't be able to handle Beyonce's sexiness. Our faces would melt, like the guys who saw the Ark of the Covenant at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Beyonce will teach us many new dances in the decades to come, and for we shall be thankful, and rejoice.

Taylor Swift - You Belong With Me

Hot girls wearing glasses have such a hard time dating. Will they never get a break?

Well, I'm guessing they could get a break, if they took off their glasses. Glasses make you hideous! It's like wearing a berka made out of poop.

And what's with pretty people making songs about being unloved? I'm pretty sure you're not unloved, pretty people. That's like an ugly person singing about being sexually desirable. Which I guess Fat Joe does. I'd like this video more if Fat Joe was the Heartthrob Jock pursuing Taylor Swift the Ugly Loser. Then it would be clear the video was taking place in an alternate universe.

Also, notice that Taylor Swift does not get her Dream Guy until she takes off her glasses . This whole video is basically an ad for contacts.

So what's the best video? Raekwon's "House Of Flying Daggers." But Beyonce and Taylor Swift, nice work. You can start making out like Britney Spears and the snake any time now.

Week 47: Lords of the Rings (ft. Jerhymasaurus)

2009-09-12T20:00:00.000-07:00

For the week of 9/6/2009 - 9/12/2009:

Download mp3 with UserShare
Bino White @ MySpace
Bino White @ URSession
Bino White @ Facebook

The best Lord of the Rings song not written by Tom Bombadil. Jerhymasaurus is a rapper and filmmaker living in Los Angeles. Check out his website at http://jeremiahalexis.com/ and his videos & www.youtube.com/jeremiahalexis

My apologies for no more daily blogging. It's been hard with shooting Smash Cuts all week. When we wrap filming, I'll be able to post more stupid things here.

Other Bino White Weeklies

Week 46: Shoutouts (ft. Optimus Crime)

2009-09-04T11:43:00.000-07:00

For the week of 8/30/2009 - 9/5/2009:

Download mp3 with UserShare
Bino White @ MySpace
Bino White @ URSession
Bino White @ Facebook

There a lot of people we'd like to thank. KAPOW!

Optimus Prime is Tommy Bechtold, one of the other cast members of Smash Cuts. The show premieres September 27th on CBS/The CW, and if you don't watch it, you won't get into Heaven. Also, Tommy is in the upcoming movie Sophomore.

I'll be collaborating with all the Smash Cuts cast members before Bino White Weekly ends on Week 54. And there will be a couple collaborations with other people. IT'S LIKE I HAVE FRIENDS.

Other Bino White Weeklies

Things That Are Happening NOW - 9/2/2009

2009-09-02T17:37:00.000-07:00

- President Obama is going to address Congress about health care. If if it goes anything like a Town Hall Meeting, he will be interrupted by angry hobbit-Americans, holding misspelled signs, loaded guns and what's left of their shattered dreams. Oh, and throw in Glenn Beck, weeping, drawing swastikas on the floor with his own blood. Our country is turning into a nightmare circus freak show, over the most boring issue ever.

- God hates Los Angeles.

- Gmail broke down yesterday, giving hipsters everywhere an excuse not to work, even though they weren't really working anyway. So, they spent 100 minutes adjusting their ironic T-shirts and reading Pitchfork reviews. (WHAT UP, TAKEN BY TREES!)

- DJ AM is dead. I'll forever remember how he...um...dated Nicole Richie? Tweeted? Played music in nightclubs? I don't think I'm supposed to be in this grief circle. You guys have fun, though. Wait, not "fun." You know what I mean. A human died!

- Jaycee Dugard escaped from her kidnapper, after 18 years of being held hostage. So what you're saying is, she's available! Someone please update her Facebook status to "Single." But don't poke her. It's too soon.

- Next week Raekwon will release Only Built 4 Cuban Linx II, and Jay-Z will release The Blueprint 3. Will Kriss Kross never release Totally Krossed Out II?

- Drake, Kanye West, Eminem and Little Wayne collaborated on a song for a LeBron James documentary. The recording sessions must have been quite a party. Drake gave everyone maple syrup, Kanye gave everyone tight pants, Eminem gave everyone pills, and Little Wayne gave everyone wackness.

Other Things

Week 45: Rap Superheroes (ft. Da Kippa)

2009-08-27T10:34:00.000-07:00

For the week of 8/23/2009 - 8/30/2009:

Download mp3 with UserShare
Bino White @ MySpace
Bino White @ URSession
Bino White @ Facebook

We catch the villain, save the world and get the girl. How could you not like us? Unless you're jealous. Please don't be jealous. Or we won't save you. We'll just let you die.

Da Kippa makes a guest appearance! He is one of the other cast members of CBS/The CW's Smash Cuts, which we are filming now. I'm going to work in all the other cast members before I end Bino White Weekly on Week 54.

Check out Da Kippa's other raps at:

www.myspace.com/dakippa
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FI5gBWcSZCk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zclB1oj_IPA

Other Bino White Weeklies

Wu-Tang Cartoons Ain't Nuthin Ta F' Wit

2009-08-25T15:34:00.000-07:00

This is a pretty ridiculous video for "House Of Flying Daggers." It will be on Raekwon's Only Built For Cuban Linx 2, which was promised to us back in 1943.

The song features Inspectah Deck, GZA, Ghostface Killah and Method Man, who delivers a verse strong enough to make Joe Budden eat his Webcam. There is also a short intro from The RZA, who is now pretty much a full time Marble Mouth Philosopher. J Dilla produced the beat, and somewhere up in Heaven/Narnia, he is drinking 40's with Ol' Dirty Bastard and John Hughes.

ON SEPTEMBER 8, BUY CUBAN LINX 2 INSTEAD OF FOOD.

Week 44: Too Soon Part 2

2009-08-22T12:21:00.000-07:00

For the week of 8/16/2009 - 8/22/2009:

Download mp3 with UserShare
Bino White @ MySpace
Bino White @ URSession
Bino White @ Facebook

Some rhymes about Robert Novak, health care and White Chicks 2. Hey, it's the end of the week. Give me a break. I WANT YOU TO GIVE ME A BREAK.

Other Bino White Weeklies

Movies You Can See Instead Of Talking To Your Loved Ones - 8/19/2009

2009-08-19T10:46:00.000-07:00

District 9

For years, South Africa has been a safe haven for sadness. In this movie, it's also a safe haven for extraterrestrial refugees. This means we will see the wacky hijinks of E.T., Chtulhu, The Predator, ALF and Jar Jar Binks. But in the trailer, we just see a vague creature with its face blurred - possibly because its face looks like boobs? I'm guessing it was an alien, because it wasn't speaking English. There really should have been a redneck in the room screaming "SPEAK ENGLISH! IT'S 'MURRICAN! EARTH IS 'MURRICAN!" In the end, they build a fence around the Earth and make the aliens be rich people's maids. What else? Oh, this movie is shot in the style of a documentary, to confuse The Dumb.

Trailer
Rotten Tomatoes - 88%

The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard

So, we're just going to make taglines part of the titles now? Good to know. Hopefully we can make a title so long it takes up the whole marquee, looks like a book, and makes people's heads explode. Anyway, Jeremy Piven plays a cocky, fast-talking car salesman. You might think his character is too similar to Ari Gold, and wonder why Jeremy Piven keeps playing characters like Ari Gold. Well, the answer is, it makes his hair grow back. Remember when Jeremy Piven wasn't playing Ari Gold? He was balding. Then he started playing Ari Gold, and wasn't balding. It's magical. Everyone who is balding, throw away your Propecia and Rogaine and start playing Ari Gold. It totally works.

Trailer
Rotten Tomatoes - 29%

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

If they make a porn version of this, it will have the same title. I watched the trailer, and this is not really a movie. It's reheated Progresso Nostalgia & Sausage Soup. You guys like GI Joe? This movie has GI Joe references. You guys like the White House being destroyed in Independence Day? Here's the Eiffel Tower being destroyed. You like slow-motion bullet-dodging ballet fights like in The Matrix? Here are some slow-motion bullet-dodging ballet fights. Add a bucket of explosions, a pinch of Marlon Wayans and a teaspoon of some other vaguely familiar people. You might want to order out.

Trailer
Rotten Tomatoes - 38%

Other Movie Blogs

Week 43: Craigslist Sex Meetup - UPDATED (AGAIN)

2009-08-14T02:06:00.000-07:00

For the week of 8/9/2009 - 8/15/2009:

Download mp3 with UserShare
Bino White @ MySpace
Bino White @ URSession
Bino White @ Facebook

The confessions of a submissive, body suspension artist and Furry. It's time to be traumatized, kids! (This is very different from Weird Al's Craigslist song.)

This completes the storytelling trilogy of love songs that no one cared about. I've been blogging pretty frequently for over half a year, with weekly raps, but still get zero comments on 95% of my posts. Maybe when the TV show I'm on airs in September things will be different? I hope so. Because this is just kind of sad.

UPDATE: YouTube took down my video for "having nudity." Um, okay. You wouldn't want nudity in a video called "Craigslist Sex Meet-Up!" Black bars ahoy.

UPDATE (AGAIN): Bowdlerized version uploaded. Let's hope the craziness ends here. Also, YouTube, what does it take to be featured? A jump-cut Webcam rant? One-man sketches with wigs? I'm been giving you gold for 43 weeks, YouTube. And all I've gotten back is a censorship request.

Other Bino White Weeklies

Things That Are Happening NOW - 8/12/2009

2009-08-12T13:05:00.000-07:00

- Tonight is your last night to see the Perseid meteor shower. IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT WILL FILL THE HOLE OF HAVING NO GIRLFRIEND. Props to the planet Saturn for lighting up the sky, though. Nice to see you finally doing something, jerk.

- U.S. Town Hall meetings about health care are slightly more civil than cavemen beating each other to death with sticks. Honestly, none of us should have health care. Let's call it quits on the human race and give the world to the cockroaches. They're more civil.

- Who will replace Paula Abdul on American Idol? Oh, I don't know. How about a goblin?

- Heidi Montag's body is pretty much all plastic. I guess her goal is to look an evil tangerine lizard witch? Oh, and she still can't sing, or act, or do anything, but consistently makes front page news. The human race really doesn't deserve to continue, you guys. Cockroaches. Cockroaches for the win.

- John Hughes is dead, at 59. I bet when he reached the Gates of Heaven, St. Peter slapped both cheeks and went "Ahhhhhhhhhh!" (Sorry Sixteen Candles, Home Alone is my go-to John Hughes reference.)

- Rap group Slaughterhouse has released their first album, and is planning their second. But if they really want success, they should follow the footsteps of the Black Eyed Peas: 1) Add a white girl 2) MAKE THE WORST MUSIC EVER.

- Raekwon's entourage jumped Joe Budden while he was live blogging at Rock The Bells. Honestly, Raekwon's entourage should jump EVERYONE THAT IS LIVE BLOGGING. It makes God smile.

Other Things